Entering My Fourth Year of Practising Law

In my final year of law school and in the early days of chambering, I often heard a “myth” that practicing law, especially litigation, is toughest in its first five years. During this period, many are “defeated” by the challenges inherent in practicing law and end up quitting because they are “unable to withstand the pressure”. Those who persevere and stay beyond this period usually continue practicing for a very long time and are deemed the successful ones. 

The concluding advice is usually this – if you find practicing difficult now, do not worry because it is meant to be challenging. The five-year mark is the threshold. Once you hit five years, things will be much easier, and you are very unlikely to quit anymore. Yet I never recall if anyone actually guaranteeing a happy ending at the end of those five years. 

The lingering unspoken thoughts are these – perhaps once they entered their fifth year of practice, they stay on because they believed they cannot do anything else apart from practicing litigation. Perhaps they do not have any other choice. Perhaps they remain because they are desperate to survive and practicing litigation is their only identity. Perhaps it is just a job.

After all, you would hardly meet any litigation lawyer who is not miserable or who does not complain about their work. Yet they never leave. Some parts of human nature find comfort in familiarity, even in pain. Being in a painful situation long enough can make you comfortable because you know the pain very well. Jumping towards change is more frightening because it means facing the unknown, uncertainty, and the risks of ending up in a much worse situation. 

But what if those who leave during the first five years are not “defeated”? What if they are the smarter ones? What if they are the people who have enough courage to choose happiness for themselves? What if there is no use in the dignified misery of persevering until the end when it does not bring them peace and happiness? What if it is just a job?  

At this point, I am reminded of the words from passionate lawyers or more senior practitioners about the nature of being a lawyer. They would tell me that it is a noble and respected profession with its own challenges, and that only those truly deserving would remain. If you cannot handle the struggles, then perhaps practicing is not meant for you.

What, then, is the meaning of practicing law? 

I like to believe that hard work, quiet efforts, diligence, and perseverance are the keys to being a good lawyer – a lawyer of quality. For me, being a lawyer is not just for the sake of the label or the identity one tells the world. A lawyer’s value should not be measured by his or her visibility to the world.  

But as the years went by, I started to find flaws in my beliefs.  

The truth is that some people made it through five years and even longer not because they are great at their work or because of grit. Luck, circumstances, and connections play a big part. These can carry privileges that those without them do not have. Biases exist. Knowing and being close to the right people, both inside and outside the firm, can influence the journey. Some have it easier than others. Their journeys are shielded with privilege and supports. Their risk of making mistakes, messing up, and having to struggle is minimized. Opportunities are given to them as of right. They do not have to prove themselves worthy through hard work, quiet efforts, diligence, or perseverance. 

With all of these factors combined, is it not natural for these people to hit five years and stay longer than others in this industry? In reality, some people are conditioned to succeed, while some are conditioned to fail. I feel that this is most applicable to this industry.

The next truth is this – at the end of the day, law firms are running businesses. You are valuable if you can bring in clients. Honestly, being good at your work does not necessarily make you irreplaceable or valuable. There are many others out there who could do the same and would replace you the moment you are gone. In this industry, our value only shines when we have the right personality, when we can socialize well with people and clients, when we can speak out loud confidently to a room of people, when we take the spotlight, when we know the right people, when we are visible.  

In fact, for some people in these situations, even in the first five years of their careers, they do not need to put in the long hours or know everything about the work or how to get it done. After all, I realized that many who are put in a leadership positions do not need to do all these things because they just need to have a team of capable people they can instruct. So imagine having these in the first five years of your career, would you not hit five years easily and continue to stay?

Are those who stay the longest in this industry the best at what they do? Are those who pass the five-year mark deserving of the glory of finally surviving the toughest years of their careers? My limited experiences tell me this might not be the case. For some, increasing age does not necessarily bring wisdom, it only brings confidence to be authoritative, even in ignorance. I must say that this does not apply to all, but these people do exist. 

So going back to the five-year threshold. Those who decided to leave this industry early are rarely people who have had it easy or are conditioned for success. Instead, they are overworked people lacking support, forced to do work no one else wants – be it legal, clerical or administrative, who did put in long hours to get their work done, who receive scoldings for messing up and making mistakes when they are only starting out, who do not know everything yet are expected to figure out things on their own, who are not seen despite their efforts, and who are not compensated well for the long hours they endure.

Naturally, when the conditions are so harsh, why are they expected to stay just to keep their dignity? They are not defeated. They are just braver to choose better. 

So, is there any credibility to the “myth”? Perhaps there is, for many others out there. I haven’t met enough lawyers to understand and compare their experiences.

Anyway, these are merely personal reflections on my journey thus far, considering that I have hit my third year of practice. According to the “myth”, I just need to stay for two more years to survive the toughest period of my career. But who know what Allah has planned for me? Maybe one day I am fated to switch careers and not do this anymore. No matter what, I know I will be okay. To glorify my miseries, I belong to those conditioned to fail, and yet I am still around. All because of fate.